47 Percent of the Time You’re Doing This 1 (Fixable) Thing That Kills Your Happiness

Take a moment to notice where your mind is. Even if it’s right here reading these very words, is it only here? Or it is also somewhere else?

Unlike other animals, the human mind spends a great deal of time outside the

present moment. We contemplate and agonize over events in the past. We ruminate over what might happen in the future, things that might not even happen at all. In so many ways, mind wandering is our brain’s default mode of operation.

But, at what cost is not being present robbing us of the present and the wonder it holds?

Harvard psychologists, Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert were intrigued about the relationship between our thinking and our level of happiness. For decades, researchers have exposed key indicators that correlate to higher levels of happiness: possessing a growth mindset, having a gratitude practice, savoring present moments, among other things. Simply put, there are things we can consciously do to increase our level of happiness. But, Killingsworth and Gilbert felt that only told part of the story, the part that was activated by an outside stimulus. They wanted to dive deeper into the human mind itself.

The duo launched a study on a Web site called Track Your Happiness.org and after individuals answered basic questions about their age, location, and general satisfaction with their job, marriage or car, iPhone owners could sign up to receive one or more text messages a day. These texts nudged them to visit an online survey to report how happy they were feeling and pick from 22 different choices, including shopping, watching television or working, to describe what they were doing right then in the present moment. Subjects also recorded whether they were thinking about that activity or about something else that was pleasant, neutral or unpleasant.

The study, which involved over 2,250 participants, had one bombshell revelation: the human mind wanders 47% of the time. Mind wandering was higher when individuals were working, resting or using an electronic device and was less prevalent when they were engaged in conversation, exercising and making love.

Killingsworth and Gilbert identified this phenomenon as “mind wandering” and said that while mind wandering is a common human experience, this type of mindless thinking wasn’t just correlated with unhappiness, it was a direct cause of unhappiness. The researchers estimated that only 4.6% of a person’s happiness in a given moment was attributable to the specific activity he or she was doing, whereas a person’s mind wandering status accounted for about 10.8% of his or her happiness.

“A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.”

The study also found that people’s minds were more likely to wander to pleasant topics (43% of the time) or neutral topics (31%) than unhappy topics (26%). People were considerably less happy when thinking about neutral or unhappy topics, but get this: they were no happier when thinking about pleasant topics than when fully engaged in what they were doing. In other words, when you’re not present in the moment, all roads point to unhappiness. Even if the present moment is unpleasant, research shows that it is better to sit with your discomfort and lean into present moment reality than it is to push it away and let your mind go somewhere else.

Killingsworth and Gilbert’s work is illuminating what philosophical practices like yoga and Buddhism have taught for centuries: Our happiness is found in present moment awareness, and a wandering mind is an unhappy one.

47% of the time, your mind— whether you are aware of it or not— is wandering outside the present and it’s the very thing that is killing your happiness in the present moment. 

But, here’s the good news: your happiness is within your control every moment you are present and aware. When you bring the unconscious to the conscious, you create a powerful shift that puts you back in the driver’s seat of your life.

3 Ways To Tap Into Mindfulness 

1. Mantra

The word “Mantra” means mind-tool and it’s a way of harnessing our mind and bringing it back to present moment focus. Pick a mantra that you can use to come back to present moment awareness, something like: Zone in, Be Mindful, I am here right now, or This moment is right now. Whatever your phrase is, place it somewhere you will see it and make it a point to check in with your mantra throughout the day (i.e. put it on a Post-It note at your desk, set reminders on your phone with your mantra, etc.)

2. Ditch Multi-tasking

Most of us like to think we’re adept at multi-tasking, but nothing could be further from the truth. MIT neuroscientist Earl Miller told NPR that our brain can’t focus on two things at once— it’s literally impossible. In fact, when you are multi-tasking, you actually lose up to 40% productivity as it takes your brain more time to switch from task to task and you make far more errors than when focusing on one task at a time. So ditch the multi-tasking and get more accomplished.

3. Meditation

Meditation is the ultimate hack for happiness because not only does it allow you to be in the present moment, it’s also something that is accessible to you no matter where you are. 

Setting up Meditation

First, find a comfortable seat. It’s best to sit (as opposed to laying down) so that

you can really tune into present moment awareness— and yes, that means the uncomfortable things too. If sitting cross-legged on the floor is too uncomfortable, try place a bolster or block under your seat or take a seat upright in a chair. 

Second, allow the eyes to close or soften and tune your attention to your in-breath and out-breath. Pick a spot to notice your breath, whether it’s the chest, belly or tip of your upper lip. However you choose to notice the breath, allow your attention to follow your breath. 

Finally, return to the breath. Your attention will wander. Uncomfortable feelings and thoughts will arise. It’s all part of mediation and learning to be present with what is. If you stay with you breath, what you’ll notice is over time, these sensations and thoughts soften and your awareness grows. 

Aim for 5 minutes and eventually see if you can work up towards 10-20 minutes as the most tangible benefits come from at least 20 minutes of meditation. 

Need some guidance on getting started? Join Amy for this brief 10 minute meditation.